Please Don’t Do That To Your Car

We’ve all been there, sitting at a stoplight, singing along to the radio when a car pulls up next to you and you think “Why would you do that to your car?”
Here is a list of things I think people should NOT do to their cars (in no order):
1. The oversized after market spoiler – I used to have a 1994 Nissan Altima. I think it was the first year Nissan made the car and it had a small manufacturer-placed spoiler. I hated it. It made it hard to wash the trunk and every time I looked in the rear view mirror I saw a strip of what was behind me between the spoiler and the trunk. What is worse is the car owner that puts the oversized spoiler on it. Am I the only one that thinks this doesn’t look cool? Are you trying to make your car fly? It looks like a giant wing or something.

2. Stick figure people on the trunk window – This is one of the dumbest fads that are popular with families and SUVs. I can stand sitting in the school pick-up/drop-off lane behind a giant Suburban that has a stick figure dad holding a fishing pole, a stick figure mom holding shopping bags, a stick figure son holding a baseball and bat, a stick figure daughter holding pom-poms, and a stick figure dog. Call it dumb, call it stupid, call it whatever you want. It is a waste of time and money. I look at my kids more than just athletes and cheerleaders. I look at my wife as someone who does more that just shop. I don’t need to advertise on my SUV how many people are in my family and what are activities are. The same applies for kids that play sports. Do I really need to know your kid plays for or cheerleads for the McAdenville Dolphins or the Union Road Jaguars? NO! If your kid plays quarterback for the Carolina Panthers are you going to put a sticker on your car that says “Panthers #2 Jimmy”? NO!

3. Paying tribute to a lost loved one – People do all kinds of things to remember their lost loved ones. I’ve seen tattoos, paintings, pictures, poems, newspaper articles, Facebook pages, etc. Most of them I am fine with but the one that I don’t understand is the giant sticker on the trunk. What, when you bought that ’04 Toyota Corolla it reminded you of your grandmother? You bought that ’97 Ford F-150 in memory of your uncle? If I die before my wife does someone please tell her not to put ‘In Memory of Bruce Wilson’ on the back of her Mercedes R-350.

4. Any type of human or animal parts on the vehicle – This one is a big one and includes eyelashes over the headlights, furry tails hanging from the trunk, giant rubber or metal balls/ballsack hanging from the tow hitch, eyeballs on the front bumper, and all of the Christmas decorations like antlers, elf ears, a red nose, etc. Your car is a machine. It takes you to and from your destination. It does not have a heart beat, it does not talk, and it is not a person or animal. Please don’t treat it like one.

If you want to give your car a name, go ahead, we all loved Eleanor in Gone in 60 Seconds, but just remember: NONE of the vehicles in that movie had a ridiculous spoiler, stick figure stickers, decorative body parts, or said ‘In Memory of Nicolas Cage’.

—Bruce Wilson blogs here and for 610 AM WFNZ The Fan and is the owner of Superior Car Service. He is also currently working on his first novel. You can follow him on Twitter @BruceRWilson

Coaching is over & Blog update

The 13/14-year-old Gastonia baseball spring city league is mercifully over. Our little team of misfits managed to go 0-8-1. Yes, we tied a team 9-9 in the final game. As crazy as it sounds they did actually improve over the course of the season and I would like to keep 75% of this team together next year and do it again. Maybe with a little more practice though.

Now that I will have some “free” time and my business, Superior Car Service, is going into the slower summer season, I should have more time to write this blog and my WFNZ.com sports blog.

I know you all have been waiting for the 2012 Top 10 Man Crush List. Wait no more, it will be posted on Monday. Yes, the votes are in and the release date of the list is indeed Monday, June 18th. With that being said, I will need every one of you, my faithful readers, to tell your friends, retweet, and share this blog on Facebook, twitter, & email so we can have our biggest and most successful post yet.

You never know, we may only be a couple of weeks ago from the female version of the list that a lot of readers have inquired about.

Thanks as always for reading and please remember to follow me on Twitter @BruceRWilson and tell everyone else to do it too.

Not Guilty

On July 5, 2011 close to 200 million people either watched on TV, listened on the radio, or watched online as the ‘Not Guilty’ verdict was announced.
Then came the outpouring of rage. They say “it’s OJ all over again”.
Over 325,000 tweets on Twitter and more than 10 Facebook posts per second.
PER SECOND!
Even celebrities and media personalities got in on the act.
Why?
Is it because you still want to believe that a mother cannot harm her own child? As sad as it is it happens all of the time.
Is it because you convicted her during the trial before the verdict was handed down? I guess you forgot that people are innocent until proven guilty.
Is it because the media, especially Nancy Grace, rammed it down your throat and embedded ‘Tot Mom’ into your everyday vocabulary?
Here is something that might piss off a lot of people: in acquitting Casey Anthony the jury made the right call.
Don’t get me wrong. I think she did it. Based off of what I have heard about the story, my opinion is that she did it.
But I don’t know for sure because I wasn’t there when Caylee died. I wasn’t one of the 12 jurors. I didn’t see all of the evidence and hear all of the testimony.
But the state of Florida couldn’t prove she did. They did not have enough evidence to establish guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.
This isn’t CSI people. They couldn’t figure it out like the do on almost every TV show.
Does this impact my faith in our judicial system? No. As the Florida assistant state attorney Jeff Ashton said on 7/6/11 “You can’t believe in the rule of the law and not accept that sometimes it doesn’t go the way you think it should”.
The anger and hatred towards Casey Anthony, her lawyers, and the jury is absurd.
These are some direct quotes from my friends on Facebook:
“Is Casey Anthony out of jail yet? I need someone to punch in the face.”
“Casey Anthony better be glad that Dexter is a fictional character.”
I’ve seen quotes about the lawyers having “no spine” and how the jury and Casey should be worried about some “good old Florida boys taking care” of them.
I guess some of you think being Christian means you can preach about how God can be the only one to judge at the same time you spew venom and hate.
You always say “WWJD” meaning What Would Jesus Do? But what would you do if she walks into your church on Sunday after being released from jail? Will you not accept her like any other sinner? Or would you continue your hypocrisy and kick her out the door?
Yes it’s OJ all over again. Meaning both times the jury got it right.

God Bless Jack Bauer

So much to say right now. I have never been able to document in print my actions or memories. Until now thanks to WordPress and the internet.

I’m sure everyone and their brother and their brother’s cousin (wait, wouldn’t that be their cousin too?) are blogging, tweeting, and Facebooking, about how historic the events of tonight are.

People often ask ‘Where were you when…?’ and the conversation usually includes 9/11/01, Michael Jackson, and (for our older folks) JFK.

For 9/11: I was at McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas, NV with my wife trying to board a plane to come home when the planes hit. We got stuck there for 5 days but our loss was not as dear as many others. I’ll save that for another blog.

For Michael Jackson: I was sitting on my couch with my family watching TV when I flipped on Facebook on my phone and saw someone post how the rumor was he had passed. This led to almost two hours of watching the news coverage. I’ll save that for another blog.

For JFK: well, my mom was only 7 years old when he was killed so I obviously wasn’t around. Another blog for this will be unnecessary.

Now it can include 5/1/11.

However I wasn’t at the Mets/Phillies game. I wasn’t outside the White House. I wasn’t at Ground Zero in NY.

While most Americans were asleep, dreaming, or going to bed and preparing for their Monday mornings: I was sitting on my couch (again) watching TV when I flipped on Facebook on my phone and saw someone post how the rumor was Osama bin Laden had been killed. A little eerie right?

Take into consideration I am about 80 hours away from trying to board another plane… to Las Vegas. Still eerie?

How about nearly 66 years to the day that Hitler was dead?

Now I’m stunned. What do I do? Do I continue to sit here in complete silence like I have for the last 2 hours watching the news coverage for the next 2 hours because it’s more significant than MJ’s death? Do I go and wake up my wife and kids and hug them and share the good news with them? Do I get dressed and rush to a public setting and celebrate my patriotism like thousands across this country are doing? Do I cancel my trip to Vegas because I’m scared about what might happen in the next few days?

I will probably wake up my wife (mainly because I want to share this moment with someone other than the internet) but until that moment, as more details become public knowledge and news about a military operation that sounds very 24-esque, I will: thank the men, women, and families of the US military, thank our President, and thank God everyday for everything he gives us. Especially Jack Bauer & Las Vegas.

Please add your comments below about your 9/11 experience and this special night of 5/1